For the past 28 months, I have asked myself “Why Me” many times: Why am I the one with incurable, inoperable cancer? Why am I the Mom who may not get to see her kids grow up? Why am I the one who may not ride bikes when my husband and I are old? Why does my twenty one year old son have to worry about me when he should be being irresponsible in college? Why can I never teach in a school again?

Well, I have decided that if my family and I have been given this horrible sentence or what I rather call an adventure (although no one would ever sign up for it voluntarily), there must be a reason. I must have a purpose. I am not ready to stop teaching, mommying, wifeing, or daughtering. I believe my purpose is to help other parents who are living the cancer life by sharing my experiences, strategies, and HOPE.

I also hope I can raise awareness about the need for more research for rare cancers. We have come so far with cancer research and treatment. Yet, there is need for more treatment options for low incidence cancers. I hope I somehow, by some miracle can influence more studies about small cell high grade neuroendocrine cancer that originates in the pancreas. No one else should be told when they have young children that statistically they have one year to live and there is no cure for their illness.

(You may notice that I use the word “may” not the word “will”, because I refuse to give up HOPE. I am realistic, but I am hopeful that it is not yet my time)