Last week I saw a video on Facebook promoting the Miles for Moffitt walk on November 23, 2019. In that video I recognized so many people who work at Moffitt that I see each and every time I am here for treatment. My first thought was that I have been doing this too long. Today, when I was in blood draw and realized I knew the majority of the people there (and there is a lot), I realized that this recognition and the relationships I am building are an amazingly good thing because put simply the more people I know and recognize, the more time I spend at Moffitt, the longer I am alive.
Yes, you can find the positive in anything but coming to Moffitt is not a negative. Having cancer is a negative and now for me a fact of life. Being able to keep coming to Moffitt and keep fighting this cancer is a positive because it means treatment is working and I can still be with my family. I am very positive today (and I am not always- fear of the end is always on my mind) because my chemo is working and my cancer has shrunk to little to none AGAIN!!! This is a little surreal because this will be the 3rd time we have knocked my cancer down. Today I am having my 6th round of Carboplatin and Etoposide and it is still an effective treatment even after my lifetime total of 16 rounds of Carboplatin and Etoposide and 4 rounds of Gemzar and Abraxene. I feel super lucky today- not only is the chemo working but my body is strong, side effects (knock on wood) are tolerable and I am even growing hair back even if it is gray.
Although this is a great day in our cancer journey, this adventure is not over. My cancer will grow back. We just do not know when. After today, I will probably have 2 more rounds of Carboplatin and Etoposide then a break. The length of the break or vacation from treatment will depend on how quickly the cancer comes back. Last time, I had four months from the last day of chemo until the scan that showed new and more cancer activity. I hope and pray I get more this time, but even if I just get 4 months, that will give my body time to regain strength and fighting power.
Many people ask and I do too, what can I do on my “vacations from treatment” to maintain or keep the cancer down and there isn’t anything. There is no research that supports single agent immunotherapy use for small cell Pancreatic High Grade Neuroendocrine Carcinoma. There is some research using clinical data from under 30 patients that show a response when using two immunotherapy drugs together which we may try in the future when cancer grows again. So, the planner in me, knows that during the upcoming break from treatment I will get my body stronger and ready to fight again and I will play hard with my family.
Today, I am lucky! I get to build relationships at Moffitt because it means that I can tolerate treatment, that I can beat the odds, and that I am still here.